How the Pelvic Floor Muscles Affect Our Sex Life

Where Are the Pelvic Floor Muscles and How to Use Them?

The pelvic floor muscles play an essential role in the health and function of the sexual organs. Furthermore, a trained and well-maintained pelvic floor increases our ability to experience sexual pleasure.

This group of muscles is located between the tailbone and the pubic bone in the pelvis. They support the bowel and bladder and, in women, the uterus and vagina. Muscle bands surround the urethra, vagina, and anus as they pass through the pelvic floor.

To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urinating midway or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. These maneuvers contract your pelvic floor muscles.

Female pelvic floor anatomy (Wikimedia Commons)

Kegel Exercises

Once you’re familiar with your pelvic floor muscles, you can start doing an exercise called ‘Kegel’ exercise. Regular ‘Kegels’ strengthen the pelvic floor, which can help improve a variety of aspects of your sex life and contribute to your overall health.

How to Do Kegels

Tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold the contraction for three to five seconds, then relax for three seconds. Do this several times in a row. You can perform Kegels while sitting, standing, or walking. For best results, focus on contracting only your pelvic floor muscles. Make sure not to contract the muscles in your abdomen, thighs, or glutes.

Regular repetition is key to improvement. Start by doing at least three sets of 30 repetitions per day. As your muscles get stronger, you can incorporate Kegels into your daily routine, such as while sitting at the office. It is recommended that you do the exercise for no more than 15 to 20 minutes a day, as overdoing it can cause soreness and inflammation.

More advanced practitioners can work up to holding the contraction for up to a minute, with 5 to 10 seconds of rest between contractions.

Male pelvic floor anatomy (Wikimedia Commons)

General Benefits of Strong Pelvic Floor Muscles

Improved and Reliable Erection – For men, the pelvic floor muscles play an important role in managing the blood flow to the genitals by compressing the penile veins, trapping blood in the penis, and creating an erection. If the pelvic floor is weak, the outflow of blood isn’t prevented, and an erection can’t be maintained.

Ejaculation Control – Kegel exercises help to strengthen the ‘ischiocavernosus” and ‘bulbocavernosus’ muscles, which are part of the pelvic floor muscles. These are located around the penis and are active when the penis is aroused. When these are strengthened, most men report that they become more aware of their ‘arousal curve’ and can therefore achieve better control of the moment of ejaculation. A strong pelvic floor is also beneficial for successfully performing a Tantric ejaculation prevention technique known as the ‘Big Draw’.

More Pleasure During Sex – For both men and women, strengthened pelvic floor muscles offer increased potential for pleasure during lovemaking. The sexual organs are better supplied with blood, making them more sensitive to stimulation. It also strengthens the vaginal muscles and improves the quality of the erection, which can increase friction and pleasure during intercourse.

Reduced Lower Back Pain – The muscles of the lower back need a lot of support to avoid strains, tears and other painful complications. It’s common knowledge that strengthening the core can help protect the lower back, but it’s relatively unknown that strengthening the pelvic floor can also reduce back pain. The pelvic muscles are important in supporting the lower back, so back pain is a frequent symptom of a weakened pelvic floor.

Inward Kegel contraction, female (Wikimedia Commons)

Pelvic Floor Contractions During Lovemaking

For both sexes, actively playing with the contractions of the pelvic floor can not only increase pleasure by allowing us to feel new sensations, but it’s also a wonderful technique for experiencing stronger orgasms and reaching climax more reliably.

The 3 States of Pelvic Floor Contraction

I. Inward Contraction – As mentioned above, the muscles are contracted to stop the flow of urine. This is the active phase of the Kegel exercise.

II. The Neutral State – The pelvic floor is neither contracted inwards nor outwards. This is the resting phase of the standard Kegel exercise.

III. Outward Contraction – When we contract outwards, we use the pelvic floor as if we were passing urine.

Benefits of Pelvic Floor Contractions

I. Inward Contraction

Inward contraction immediately increases sensitivity to stimulation for both men and women by drawing more blood into the sexual organs. This applies to clitoral, vaginal, penile and prostate stimulation.

Experienced men are able to actively induce an erection by performing specific patterns of repeated strong inward contractions.

II. Neutral State

The neutral state is where most people naturally remain during sex. It provides the type of stimulation that the majority of men and women are most used to, as they are not aware that they can actively change the sensations by working with the pelvic floor muscles.

For many men, it’s an effective state for maintaining control of their arousal curve, as they are familiar with the sensation. However, some women find it difficult to reach orgasm in this state as the sensations can be insufficient.

III. Outward Contraction

Often people describe the sensation of stimulation during ‘outward contraction’ as being felt more in the centre of the body, rather than just in the genitals.

Men usually find it easier to delay ejaculation in this state because the prostate cannot contract involuntarily and penile sensation is reduced.

Many women, as well as men, can achieve a ‘squirting orgasm’ by deliberately inducing outward contractions when highly aroused and/or close to orgasm. This is particularly applicable to G-spot, prostate and testicular stimulation.

Play With the Contraction States

For beginners, I recommend playing with the 3 states of contraction during lovemaking and/or masturbation to learn how the body reacts and what sensations you enjoy.

A number of my female clients have successfully overcome orgasmic dysfunction by incorporating specific patterns of pelvic floor contractions into their lovemaking.

A good routine for beginners is as follows: While being stimulated or penetrated, try to hold an inward contraction for 30 seconds, then switch to the neutral state for 30 seconds, and then to outward contraction for another 30 seconds.

Repeat this pattern as often as you like. Experiment with the sequence of contractions. Many people find it highly pleasurable to switch from 30 seconds of strong inward contraction to strong outward contraction. This can provide an explosive sensation of inner release.

© Philipp, 27 August 2022